Not good...

I just can't hold it together. I should be able to but I keep thinking the worst is going to happen. Yesterday I got some extremely bad news about my uncle that may affect me more than I thought it would have. That's hit #2 in the past few weeks. Hit #3 came this morning in the middle of class. I really don't feel like talking about that one right now. It was the straw that broke the camel's back though. The flood gates have fallen open and it's just been interesting to say the least this whole day. I held myself together pretty well during class and I was talking to friends earlier. I managed to be on the phone four hours this morning/afternoon so I could just talk about random things. My best friend I talked to about what was going on and even though she told me stuff I knew I wouldn't WANT to hear she knew I needed to hear it. She said it in the best possible way to actually make me feel better. The silence of this apartment and knowing that I need to get all this school work done is just over my head. I don't want to do it. I don't want to be by myself but the only person I want to be with that could actually make me feel better is on the other side of the world. Thank you Army. This is pitiful. So disgusting. I should try to look at the positives of the situation and hope and pray things work out for the best. These nagging texts from my mom to see A) how I am doing and B) wanting updates about the situation that I just don't have are not helping the situation. The fact that my dad keeps sending me texts saying things are looking grim isn't helping either. I don't even know what to say in response to his text messages. He might think I'm ignoring him but I can't even put together a cohesive thought in response. "Okay" is not sufficient.

I have a few things I have been really wanting to blog about lately but right now I just can't right about it.